Episode 23 - Transforming Family Culture with Kimberly Amici
What happens when a Manhattan career woman swaps skyscrapers for suburbia and discovers a new kind of creativity?
Join us on Beyond Budgets® as we welcome Kimberly Amici, the mastermind behind Build Your Best Family, who shares her extraordinary journey from designer and architect in the bustling city to a mom redefining family culture through faith and daily acts of creativity. Kimberly's story illuminates how she integrates values into everyday life, transforming routine activities like cooking and travel into meaningful family experiences. She provides invaluable insights into encouraging children to think outside the box while crafting a purposeful and enriching family environment.
We also discuss the importance of creating a stable and positive family atmosphere, using tools like Family Culture Discussion Sheets to identify and live by core values. Kimberly’s wisdom and personal anecdotes highlight how simplifying daily priorities can help families truly thrive by establishing a sense of belonging and stability.
Don’t miss this enriching conversation with Kimberly, full of practical tips and heartfelt stories to help you build your best family.
Episode Highlights
(01:03 - 01:52) Expressing Creativity and Faith in Family
(03:04 - 04:54) Exploring Creativity in Everyday Life
(09:45 - 10:52) Discovering Non-Negotiables for Self-Care
(14:44 - 16:18) Family Values and Accountability
(19:10 - 20:04) Defining Family Values With Kids
(26:51 - 27:59) Parenting Through Consistent Decision Making
Connect with Kimberly Amici
Website: Build Your Best Family
Connect with Deb Meyer
Website: WorthyNest.com/podcast
Full transcript
Deb Meyer (00:01.31)
I'm excited to introduce today's guest Kimberly Amici. She is a big proponent of creating strong family cultures and family manifestos really aligned with the values of creating that great family culture for parents who want to make informed financial decisions like yourselves.
I'm going to jump in and give a little bit of context here for Kimberly. She's the founder of Build Your Best Family and the host of Build Your Best Family podcast. Her passion is helping moms find purpose in marriage, motherhood and family life. She lives in the suburbs of New York City with her husband, Carl, and their three high school and college-aged kids. All right, Kimberly, you're known for your creativity, strong faith, and your commitment to living a very purposeful life. How do you feel these personal traits are expressed in your family's culture today?
Kimberly (01:00.948)
OK. So you touched on creativity. So my background is in design and architecture. And after working several years, our story is kind of typical of most people in our area. We both worked in Manhattan. We lived in Manhattan, decided we were going to have children, got pregnant, moved to the suburbs. And then I quit my job to be at home full-time with my children. And in the trenches, as you can imagine, and I had my kids pretty much back to back, like there's a two-year gap, plus or minus in between each of my children. So I was either pregnant or having ... Constantly, right? It was just one after the other. I was either nursing or pregnant all the time. So at one point ...
Deb Meyer (01:46.667)
A tiny toddler or baby.
Kimberly (01:55.124)
When I really, as I started to understand what it meant to have values and to have non-negotiables and to be really intentional about your life, I looked at my life and I said, you know, am I really a designer since I don't actually design? Like, am I a creative person because that's the work I do or is my creativity reflected in my home? Is it reflected in how I'm raising my kids or am I so busy surviving that I've just taken, like this is just an example of one area. Have I just taken this of my life or this value or this thing that makes me who I am, if I like shoved it down so I could just be about the busy, right? And so I really had to say like, where is it reflected in my home? Where is it reflected in my parenting? Where is it reflected in our family's culture? And so one of the things that, the more practical things that I did immediately was when we set up our playroom, we set up an area for crafts.
I had supplies at hand. I had places where we could be messy. I wanted to make sure my kids had access to things that I felt could do creativity, where they could be creative. But then I also had to redefine what creativity was for me because I couldn't exercise it in the way that I'd been so used to exercising it. And so creativity started to become, I started to be expressed through writing. So I've been writing online since 2010. I was writing a long time for Faith Gateway.
So all of the things that I was creating online as I was developing, when I was learning about family culture and then teaching about it and talking to people about it, I was really leaning into the creativity that I needed to write, to create a podcast, to create a free download and create resources, and then even finding opportunities to volunteer at school for those things that lined up with creativity. Like not volunteering for everything because I had time and of course I should be volunteering because I'm a stay at home mom.
Deb Meyer (03:37.515)
Mm -hmm.
Kimberly (03:49.172)
But waiting for those opportunities where I could really lean into my creativity and use that and enjoy it. And so I would only volunteer for events that could express my creativity and where that part of who I was could be valued. And so those things that I'm passionate about and that I say are as important to me, I really had to look at my calendar and say, okay, where are they showing up in my life and where are they showing up in my parenting?
Deb Meyer (04:15.959)
Have you found that the kids have also responded well to that in terms of having an interest in the arts or some of the more creative endeavors?
Kimberly (04:16.819)
Well, what's interesting is that I wouldn't say that my kids are particularly creative. I think they're talented. Like they've taken a couple of art classes because they've had to take them. And I'm always amazed at what they come home with. But they're like, nah, nah, nah, nah. But I have definitely seen creativity expressed in different ways.
So all three of my kids love to cook and they're really creative when they love to cook. We love to travel. So when it came to writing and examining our family mission and what creativity meant to us, creativity actually took on a broader meaning for us. So one of the things that I like to talk about is when you determine your five values, when I work with clients, we determine their top five values. They determine, they decide on two to three practices
that they will implement into their family, rhythms, routines, or how they make decisions that reflect that value. But you have to define that value. And so when we decided to define creativity for us, it involved being creative thinkers, looking at things with awe and wonder, and thinking outside of the box. And so where they may not necessarily be artistically creative, and they've all done instruments, but they've kind of let those go. It's not necessarily music creativity, but like looking at
Deb Meyer (05:30.731)
Mm -hmm.
Kimberly (05:42.324)
creativity through a different lens. Like what does it actually mean to be creative? It doesn't have to be with paint and paintbrush or pen and pencil. It can be through the way that we approach life. So as they've developed their own personalities and pursued their own interests and become who they've been created to be, we're still using creativity as a filter, but it just may not look like what we typically think of creativity.
Deb Meyer (06:05.675)
Okay, okay cool. So I know I touched on creativity, also your strong faith. I'm curious how you're incorporating that into the kind of family culture that you and your husband have created.
Kimberly (06:09.748)
creativity also your strong faith and carry us higher.
Yeah. So for us, it looks like my relationship with God and my faith, I apply it every day. And a big thing with me is wanting my kids to see it. I mean, we do like some of the typical things where we go to church on the weekends, the kids have been involved with youth, we pray at meals. But for us, it really involves us modeling and us having rhythms and routines that point to our faith.
And so the kids know, like I go for a walk in the morning, that's my like worship time, my prayer time. I go for a prayer walk, I come back, then I can make you breakfast. Then I, you know what I mean? So it's like, right? So it's an integrated part of our life. Like there's just, it's not negotiable. I mean, obviously there's days when I might sleep in and maybe I don't go for the walk, but they know that like, this is kind of the standard.
Deb Meyer (06:58.443)
I’m the same way.
Kimberly (07:13.652)
You know, as my kids get older and we start to talk about things that we're seeing in the media or in culture, we're having conversations that point to Christ. So for us, it's like, I don't know how to live without integrating my faith into my everyday life. So, whereas I would say, and this is kind of where I've given myself a lot of grace, we never really got the hang of the daily devotionals with mom and dad or the weekend. Like we, I know that people do that and I love that for them, but we never really like, we never, we never did it.
Deb Meyer (07:38.091)
I haven't either. I’ll buy prayer books and they say “nope, not interested.”
Kimberly (07:43.124)
Yeah, yeah. Or I'll do like half the book and then like five years later I'm like, yeah, there's that book in the counter that we never really made it through. So we've had seasons where it's looked different. We've had seasons where as they're eating breakfast at the island, I'll read a quick like two minute devotional and they'll be like, okay, mom, it's time to go. And then there was like two years where I have... So I have these read it, pray it cards on my website. So there's a scripture on the front and a prayer on the back.
Deb Meyer (07:55.339)
Yeah.
Kimberly (08:11.22)
And this was the season when I was like, devotionals are not happening. But I would bring them in the car with me, because I have to drive them to school every day. And in like literally the five minutes, I mean, we were, I think the school is probably a mile and a half from our house. We have no buses in our town because our town's really small. So, and I would pick up kids in the carpool and I'd be like, okay, somebody read the front. Okay, who's reading the back? And then we would like say this little prayer in the car every day.
And I was like, consistency was more important to me than making it be like this mega teachable moment where like, we're all like having profound revelation. And what was so beautiful about that was, this was when my kids were in high school, one of the girls that I picked up in my carpool, she was like, Mrs. Amici. And this girl was not like super chatty, definitely didn't come from a faith home. She's like, can you pray for me today? Like I'm taking my driver's ed test again and I failed it already once. Could you just pray for that today? And I was like, “yes, yes I can.” You know what I mean? Like, so it's these little things where we've incorporated it for us have been more really more important than the big things that I honestly have given my grace, myself grace for not necessarily always following through on.
Deb Meyer (09:14.219)
Yes I will.
Deb Meyer (09:29.227)
Sure, sure. Wow, that's really helpful because I think for a lot of parents too, it can be a little frustrating when you have certain facets of your personality, you're trying to kind of pass those similar traits or values onto the next generation and some are more open and receptive to that than others. And yeah, I'm sure you're seeing that with your kids and how they each have their own personalities, right?
Kimberly (09:46.472)
Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Mm hmm. Mm hmm.
Deb Meyer (09:57.419)
All right. One of the things that I really loved, I looked at your Instagram account and you had a post back from August of 2022. I'm going to do a quick recap, but it just, it really hit home. So you said about six years ago: Mmy husband and I found ourselves doing everything you're supposed to be doing as a family. Our kids were playing sports and taking music lessons. I was volunteering at school and we were involved in our local church. We looked great on paper, but we're exhausted, disconnected and burnt out.
We had a vague vision of what we wanted our family to be, but we couldn't make it happen. And as a result, we became frustrated and bitter about where we found ourselves. We were constantly getting on each other's nerves. But all that changed when we discovered the power of culture and how to live intentionally as a family. We established our values, took back control of our time, and were able to parent with clarity. It hasn't been perfect, but our family life changed because we had purpose.
I believe that you too can go from surviving to thriving. Okay, so for a parent today who feels great on paper, but exhausted, disconnected, and burnt out, what do you think is that first step to change course?
Kimberly (11:00.264)
So I think non-negotiables are important to understand. For me, that's when the magic started. I started working with a life coach when I turned 40. It was my gift to myself. And I just felt like, my gosh, why is this the first that I'm hearing of this?
And we went through this process of understanding my non-negotiables. At the end of the day, when my head hits the pillow, what are the five things that I want to have said that I've done? And really for me, because I was so hard on myself, it was my list of the things that I didn't want to beat myself up for at the end of every day yet again. And they really became simple. Like it was face time with my kids, like not being so busy with the day that I'm not connecting with them. It was cleaning the kitchen every night before I went to bed.
Deb Meyer (11:45.195)
Mm -hmm.
Deb Meyer (11:51.791)
Okay.
Kimberly (11:58.068)
because that could be a huge source of anxiety for me if I wake up with a messy kitchen. Because I'm the first one up and I'm trying to do my, you know, be holy and do my prayer routine. And I got a sink full of dishes looking at me and I'm like, I can't pray right now. You know what I mean? Like, so simple things. Like I really boiled it down to the simplest things. One of the things was to be creative. So find something in my day where I could create and that could be writing, that could be organizing, because I do love to like organize and you know, it could be anything.
Kimberly (12:27.54)
And then spending time with my husband. So I don't remember if that's all five, because they kind of have become so part of my life now it's hard to think of them without it. And so I started to like make those the priority each day. And then eventually I started to identify my values. So what are the top five values? And then I did the exercise with my husband and we identified our top five values. So one of the things, one of our values is,
Generosity, and the way we've defined generosity is, you know, like faith-based, God-centered financial principles, you know, giving, saving, spending, and teaching our kids that was important. And it's also opening up our home for events. So at the time we were at a church that was renting space.
Deb Meyer (12:58.891)
Mm -hmm.
Deb Meyer (13:16.043)
Mm -hmm.
Mm -hmm.
Kimberly (13:23.797)
So every extracurricular event, they was always looking for people to host, host this mom's group, hope this dad goes. So we were like, we'll do it, we'll do it. You know, events at the school, sports teams, dinners, volunteer breakfasts, like we're like, well, you know, that was who we were passionate about just saying, come and use our space, come and use our home. And so we cared a lot about wealth building and being generous and stewardship.
And so at the time I was volunteering for everything, just was like, that's what I'm supposed to do. The values helped me to start saying no to things. So if it doesn't line up with my values, just like I mentioned with the creativity, I'm not putting it on my calendar. I'm not going to volunteer for it. I'm not going to raise my hand for it. And I started to say no to everything. And that seems like a scary thing to do. But I had such a piece about saying no. I want to be really intentional and purposeful about things that line up with my values.
Kimberly (14:20.788)
It was right around the time that I just kind of comfortably like started doing nothing that a friend of mine reached out to me and she was like, we have this, there's an entrepreneurship program at your kid's school. And I knew about it because I had attended the marketplace events. So it's a program where the kids go through a six week program. They learn how to create a product, price the product, market the product. and then they sell the product at a marketplace. And so they're like, we need a chair person.
It was easy to make the decision that I was going to do it because we're so passionate about biblical finances, generosity, and building wealth. I was like, I think I'm going to do this. Like it was no small job. And I did it the first year. By the second year, I got my husband to be the marketplace coordinator. As my kids aged out of the program, they started to become the teacher assistants. Even my son did it this past year. He's probably going to write his college essay on entrepreneurship.
Deb Meyer (15:16.971)
Mm -hmm. Neat.
Kimberly (15:21.748)
My husband and I chaired that program for six years and I still teach it. So it's been like probably 12 years now. And it lines up with our values. When I started to get a clear picture of … I don't have to do the bake sale. I don't have to do the car washes because I'm going to teach this program that lines up with my values, something that we're passionate about, something that I could talk about ad nauseam because I
was in debt when I came out of college. I worked my way out of it. I don't want my kids to make the same mistakes that I did. And so I was passionate about this. And so as I started to strip away the things that I was not passionate about and strip away the things that didn't line up with my values, and I stopped doing things that I saw everybody else doing around me, I just thought that that's what I'm supposed to do. Like I got to sign my kid up for this because everybody else has signed up for it. Once I started to make those hard decisions, there was such an incredible thing that happened because not only was I less stressed, but I was more excited about the things I was doing.
And when you begin to have purpose and when you begin to know the things that you're doing on purpose, you're doing them for a reason, you get way caught up less in comparison. Like you stop looking around and looking at what other people are doing and the discontent just melts away. And so for us, that was a game changer, just that first step. So I would say, to answer your question,
Kimberly (16:48.34)
I would say that first step is really identifying “what are our values?” What are the things that are important to us? And there's several ways to determine your values. But there's different questions you can ask yourself. But once those are determined, just naming it sort of sets the stage. And then there's accountability. Because once you've named it, and then once you start talking about your values within your family as your kids get older, they'll start to be like, Mom, I thought you said that was important. And you're like, hmm.
Kimberly (17:17.876)
Yeah, I did. Okay, you're right. Yes. But then also when things are hard and you have to make hard decisions,
Deb Meyer (17:20.523)
They can call you out on it, yeah, when you're not following through. I know that is the ironic part. It's like as they get older, they're little sponges, I mean, the entire time, right? So they're noticing every little detail and yeah, it is interesting just to see when they do call you out on it. It's never happened, ever.
Hehehehe
Kimberly (17:45.748)
You're able to point back to your values and you're able to say like, this is what we stand for. This is who we are as a family. This thing that you're wanting to do doesn't line up with our family's culture. And they can't argue with you because they know, because you've already set the stage. You've already had years for us. We experienced something like that last summer. And like we've had the, we had credibility because they could look at the decisions we'd made over the years and they're like, yeah, I know. I know that's not something that you're thrilled about.
Kimberly (18:14.196)
And so we were able to make different decisions and it was a so much better decision. And even my daughter was like, yeah, I'm glad we did that. So it's the slow steady steps over time. It's the small decisions you make in the everyday that you can repeat, that they begin to become measurable and then you can celebrate them because you know that you're on track.
Deb Meyer (18:37.899)
Awesome. So let's talk a little bit about some of the naming conventions here, because I know we've thrown around family culture, manifesto values, all of that. What would you say is a good definition of family culture?
Kimberly (18:48.823)
It is what you're known for. So I have a podcast and every time people come on, I say, what is your family known for? And it's not like meant to pat themselves on the shoulder or for them to be famous for something. But what is it that you do all the time without even thinking?
So it is, I liken it to any brand, right? It's very similar to a brand. So if you go into certain stores, you know what you're gonna get. You know the atmosphere that's created. You know the experience you're gonna have with customer service. You know the level of products they're gonna sell. It doesn't change from location to location, location, it doesn't change because they're really intentional about making those choices and then all the choices after that line up with it. So culture is sort of that intangible thing that you know you can count on and you can rely on.
When your friends pop over unexpected, it's what they will get every time they come over, right? You know, there's certain people, I go to their house, it's very formal. It's wonderful to spend time with them, but it's very formal. I have other friends, they'll open the door for me and I have to go get myself my own drink because that's just the way they are. The cabinets are open, you can help yourself to everything, but I'm not getting anything for you, right? So you start to get the sense of like who people are as a family and...
Kimberly (20:07.572)
It really creates such groundedness, a sense of belonging and stability for kids when they know what they can expect, right? And I found in my experience, even when the kids were little, if I brought up a family member, like a family across the street, they would tell me exactly what to expect when you go over there. They could tell me whose siblings don't get along and they don't get in trouble. They could tell me who always has the best snacks.
Kimberly (20:36.532)
They could tell me whose mom always hangs out with them and has fun with them. So those are the little things that sometimes we don't think about, but it becomes what you're known for. It becomes what you can expect. It becomes what your kids can expect and other people can expect when they interact with you.
Deb Meyer (20:51.371)
Okay, okay, great. So when parents are just on that kind of starting path to create that positive family culture, do you have any suggestions on kind of things they need to be thinking about as they're trying to express it to the rest of the family members or even if you're married, like how you're getting on board with your spouse to come up with this essence of what a family culture should be?
Kimberly (21:10.18)
Yeah. So I do have actually a free resource. It's called the Family Culture Discussion Sheet. And some of the questions that we ask is, you know, what was it like growing up for you? What are your favorite sites, sounds, and smells that you experienced growing up? What is it that you loved about growing up? What is it that you didn't love in your family life? What are some things you didn't experience that you want to bring to your new family and you want to pass down to your children? Those are like the beginnings of the conversations, like really identifying those things, thinking about like what you're passionate about, just kind of brainstorming.
Kimberly (21:56.532)
What could you talk about for hours? And so there's like a series of questions. I'm trying to think of some other ones. Even with the kids. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. And there's even one for kids because we went through the process with our kids. We sat them down. And like I said, with the families, we're like, what do you think of this family? What do you think of this family? And we did say, well, what do you want people to say about us? What do you think people say about us? And they're like, well.
Deb Meyer (22:05.547)
Well, I'll just give people the link. I'll give them the link and they can download the resource.
Kimberly (22:25.044)
We love to play games and we love to have fun together. And, you know, as they started to articulate, they were even able to say, yeah, mom, we don't want to be like, like them because they had at the time a group of like, so all my three kids, we knew another family at the time and they had three kids all the same ages, but they didn't, they didn't get along. And they're like, mom, we, we want to get along. Like now if I hadn't told them to get along three days before they might've been like, mom.
Deb Meyer (22:40.975)
Yeah.
Kimberly (22:54.196)
But like they just having that moment with them and identifying maybe what they don't want to be known for is another way to figure out what's important to you, what you want to be known for, what you want to do. And I think my kids learned a really interesting lesson that they get to determine who they are and what they do consistently. Yeah.
Deb Meyer (23:18.667)
Okay, cool. Well, I want to shift gears a little bit. Let's talk about the family manifesto, because again, I know a lot of families will create maybe a mission statement that's more aspirational in terms of where they think they want their family to go. But how is a family manifesto different from a mission statement? And which one do you think is more important for families to incorporate?
Kimberly (23:36.116)
I think both of them are really valuable. Your values get put into your mission statement. Your mission statement is who you want to be and some of those core principles. But the manifesto goes on another level. And what I like to say, it combines values, value practices, and then what I call culture.
So we love to play games, but games doesn't make it into our value statement. It's not like our mission statement, but games are really important to us. So our manifesto includes, you know, we believe that games bring people together and that they're one of the easiest ways to be a connector. We enjoy games, we create games, we bring games with us. So it goes beyond and it talks about what we believe and why we believe that way.
A manifesto is often infused with
tons of emotions. And it just is the outline more for what you believe and what you foresee your future being and how you want to operate in it. Whereas I think mission statements are a little bit more like packed with value words and a little bit more concise. And so for me, I don't know, Magnolia has a mission statement. I mean, a family, a manifesto.
Deb Meyer (24:56.619)
Mm -hmm. Okay.
Deb Meyer (25:06.731)
Mm -hmm.
Kimberly (25:06.772)
And when I first read it, it just blew me away because it just it brought tears to my eyes because it really encompassed all that somebody is. So I love having a mission statement. We have a mission statement that there's something I think that really incredible happens when you go to that next level and you start to sort of infuse it with your belief and your emotions and why you think something matters. And so it's longer, but it's not like too bad. It's probably like it would probably fit.
nicely printed on a larger piece of paper, whereas like a mission statement might be two to three sentences.
Deb Meyer (25:41.931)
Right, okay, great. So do you think it's ever appropriate to incorporate financial goals into a family manifesto?
Kimberly (25:50.388)
Absolutely. I mean, just from who we are as a family, we've done that for sure. Especially like I mentioned, our values is generosity. And like I said, like how I formed my... Like I think you could even have like a separate financial mission statement where you outline what is acceptable, what's not acceptable, and how you feel about money.
Like I think that could almost be a separate thing. Because we really had to figure that out for ourselves. But it definitely for us, money is very integrated into to who we are just because of the way I was raised. I was raised in a home that they gave consistently to church. Maybe they weren't the both best savers, but money meant connection and enjoyment and how my parents use money, the mistakes they made, the things they got right, and then getting with my husband and then saying, okay, what was it like for you growing up?
How did your family view money? What did you guys do with it? What does it mean to you? Because money means different things to different people. And then figuring out how we can blend them together. So for us, those were long discussions about, okay, how will we handle our money? What are the things that we can establish now so that every time we spend money, it's not a new conversation, right? I mean, that's part of what I love about values is you make the decision once and you only have to look back to what your value is to help you make that decision. You don't have to, it's on a case-by-case basis. So I think it's really important to go through that process almost on its own, just because we all come into our relationships with so many money perspectives.
But for us, because I'm so passionate about living in a certain way and having a certain kind of relationship with money, we've definitely talked about our kids with it so much that it is a part of our mission statement and our manifesto because we want to be generous. We don't want to ever say no to giving because we've chosen other things. We want to always, and in seasons where we can't be generous with our money, can we be generous with our time?
Can we be generous with our home? Can we be generous in other ways? And then also we've integrated creativity. How can we creatively be generous? It doesn't have to be the way everybody else is generous. So is it like bringing some extra drinks to the baseball game and some snacks for our friends and sort of having a little get together there because we can't really afford to host something. Like in seasons where...
Deb Meyer (28:11.243)
Mm -hmm. Yeah.
Kimberly (28:38.42)
you know, it's not as abundant as others. Like, how are we still showing up according to our value? And how are we continuing to maintain the same relationship we have for money? Like, it's not meant to change what we think about it in the season, you know, different seasons. We need to maintain that value, maintain that relationship, maintain the place we see it in our lives, no matter what season we find ourselves in. So I definitely think that going through the process, I mean, I honestly think you have to talk about money and how it fits into your culture.
Deb Meyer (29:11.723)
Yeah, I mean, obviously being the Beyond Budgets podcast, there's a lot of emphasis on money already. But I do think it's an important component. And I encourage a lot of people when they're thinking about their financial goals, really defining those core values first, because those will be very impactful in terms of some of the financial decisions you're making. If generosity is a core value, which it is for me as well, you have to approach things differently. You're setting aside amounts to give charitable donations and like you said finding creative ways to be generous even in times that are a little you know more difficult financially being able to volunteer more or figure out other ways that you can show up for people and be kind. So cool.
Well, thank you so much for being on the podcast. This has really been a treat. Where can listeners best find you or connect with you online?
Kimberly (29:52.732)
Yeah, So you can find me at buildyourbestfamily.com. I'm not so much on Instagram as I used to be. I've kind of stepped away a little bit from it, but I'm there. There's Kimberly Amici on Instagram, and then there's Build your Best Family on Instagram.
Deb Meyer (30:22.507)
Okay, any closing thoughts? I know we covered a lot of different territory here, but I'm just curious if you have any other insights you want to share with the audience.
Kimberly (30:26.74)
Well, just, yeah, just that I think building culture is small steps that you take over time. It's not a one-and-done deal. It's not a big sort of overhaul project for your family because it's not, that's not sustainable. It's the small steps that you make over time that create your culture.
And the one thing that I do like to encourage parents is that I know there's going to be situations where maybe your spouse isn't on board with all of this value naming, intentional living stuff.
Kimberly (31:08.692)
And so I just want to encourage those people out there that you have, there is an incredible power that you have to change the culture of your home, even if your spouse isn't on board. There were decisions that I make and there were times that I showed up over and over and over again for my kids during the season when my husband was working incredibly long hours. So like we live outside New York City. My husband lived in New York City all his life.
If you have a commuting person, if you're a commuting person, you know what it's like. You know what it's like to be in the early years in a corporate environment where like you have to pay your dues and if you're not getting the work done, it's not getting done, which isn't good. And so there were years when I was showing up and doing small things continuously over and over and over again on my own. And I did, I threw pity parties and I was like, if my husband was just doing this with me, it would be so much easier.
But what I learned, and especially now with older kids looking back at some of the things, some of the strongest things about our culture was just me just doing the small things, making the decisions day after day, can be inconsistent and using my values as sort of like the cheat sheet about what I'm going to decide, what we're going to say yes to, what we're going to say no to those things really do remain and they will lay the foundation. So while it is ideal to have two people working together, coming to the table, you can still make decisions by yourself that line up with your values that have an impact on your family.
Deb Meyer (32:39.243)
Thank you, that's a wonderful closing thought. Okay, I appreciate it.
Kimberly (32:42.388)
Yeah. Thanks.