Episode 28 - Money and Meaning: Embracing Stewardship and Generosity
Celebrate the first anniversary of the Beyond Budgets® podcast!!
Join host Deb Meyer as she dives into faith-driven money management inspired by the Compass Catholic Retreat. Discover how to break emotional attachments to material possessions and embrace God-honoring financial stewardship. Through engaging stories and lessons from the parable of the talents, learn to balance worldly desires with spiritual wisdom. Plus, explore advanced charitable giving techniques and the importance of spiritual guidance. Tune in for practical tips, and follow us for more inspiring financial insights!
Full transcript
Deb Meyer (00:03.022)
Celebrate good times, come on, it's a celebration! This marks the one-year anniversary of the Beyond Budgets® podcast. We launched on November 14th of 2023 and this episode, episode 28, is getting released on November 14th of 2024. So it's a cause for celebration.
In today's episode, we're going to talk about emotional attachment to money and three different ways to combat it. So for those of you that aren't Christian or Catholic, I will be inserting some faith-based things in here … feel free to tune out. But if you are Christian or Catholic, I think this one is going to be right up your alley. This is actually a talk I recently gave at the Compass Catholic Retreat.
presented in front of, I think about 50 people. It was a really fun crowd of people that are involved in that ministry. And just to give a little background information, Compass Catholic has been around for several years. They work on having kind of a Catholic version to what most people would know as the Dave Ramsey Christian materials on...
cashflow, debt management, just really having a God-honoring way with your money. I encourage you, if you're interested in finding out more about the organization, you can go to compasscatholic.org. That's compass, C-O-M-P-A-S-S, catholic.org. And I will link to it in the show notes as well. All right, let's jump in here.
The theme of my talk was around Ecclesiastes chapter three, verses four and five. And I will share those verses with you right now.
“A time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, a time to cast away stones and a time to gather stones together, a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing.”
Deb Meyer (02:19.882)
Now the common theme here isn't just about timing. I really see it as emotional attachment and we can have emotional attachment to two different big categories. Number one would be people and the other is things, tangible things. So let's talk about people for a minute. Emotional attachment to people is actually good and healthy. If you think of someone like Mother Teresa, she was emotionally attached to the poorest of the poor.
She would get at eye level and really be a beacon of hope and light for those who are typically overlooked in society, who are on the outskirts. I love the idea of Mother Teresa. I mean, she's a saint and she's just a great role model for all of us. But I think the special thing about her, whether she gave someone any kind of financial assistance or not, was just the way she interacted with people in her time on earth. And even now, the Missionaries of Charity, which she started many years ago, they still continue her amazing work today.
But not all of us are called to be missionaries in a traditional sense, right? We can still become emotionally attached to people. And when we cultivate those relationships, it's a really beautiful expression of our love. After all, God created us to love and to be loved.
And of course, when we lose someone that we love, like I lost my mom a couple of years ago, it does become that much harder in that grieving process, but that doesn't mean it wasn't worthwhile.
The other area where we could become emotionally attached is to things. And, you know, our duty on earth is to really follow God's will, but sometimes we can stray. We can get tempted by worldly desires.
And some of that temptation can result in storing up treasures here on earth. We might pursue the really expensive large home, a pool perhaps, a luxury car, shopping only at the high-end stores. I'm not a high-end shopper myself, but Neiman Marcus is one that comes to mind. No poo-pooing on Neiman Marcus or Saks Fifth Avenue, for example.
Deb Meyer (04:43.49)
I don't think I've ever purchased anything from either of those stores. I'm more of a Costco or Kohl's kind of gal. Anyway, for people that store up some of these treasures on earth, oftentimes it's not necessarily an income problem. Usually they have very healthy incomes. They might be doctor or a lawyer or some other high-earning profession, but it's what they do with those resources that are entrusted to them.
That becomes the greater issue. They do get tempted by worldly desires and oftentimes can fall into a big trap of debt, lots of debt, buying things that aren't necessarily a need but more of a want. So there really is a better way and I was actually working with a client earlier this year who, you know, they live in a modest home in Greater Orlando and they have three girls. And the income's a good amount. It's a generous base salary, but also he's blessed as well with annual bonuses. And they were talking to me about changing to a new home.
But when we looked at those illustrations and really ran through them in the financial planning software, we realized that moving to that more expensive home, with the higher mortgage would have deterred from their longer-term goals around college planning, saving for college for their girls. And also would have deterred from his goals of retiring early so he could be more present with his family. So I'd like to think they made the great decision, they made the prudent choice and they decided to stay in their current home. It was a big win. We had a hard conversation around what that would look like if they moved and ultimately it was their decision and they chose the wise choice.
So I had a different client, know, that a couple of years ago that had a similar income, but really fell into that trap of storing up treasures on earth and trying to have the more expensive home, the more expensive cars. It just became a burden to try to keep up with all the debt payments.
There are three really great ways of combating emotional attachment. Number one is having a stewardship mentality. And I'm going to make a bold proclamation that you may not have heard before, but I think it needs to be said. God owns it all. Let me repeat that. God owns it all. Everything we have is a gift from him.
Deb Meyer (07:36.418)
Take that in for a minute. Has anyone ever shared that with you before? When I first heard it, I was kind of flabbergasted because I kept thinking, well, if I'm working hard, if I'm getting the right education, if I'm earning the income, but it's really not about me. It's about the talents that God has blessed me with to be able to earn that income, to have that intellect, to be able to serve other people.
If you think about it as his and not yours, you really start to change how you handle money. For a lot of people that might not have a faith affiliation, they assume, okay, if you have a high income, you're successful, right? It might not matter how you earned that income. It might not matter how you're spending that income. You're seeing a successful and powerful, right? But...
I have three boys and my youngest is a fan of Spider-Man and some of the superheroes. I love the Spider-Man quote, with great power comes great responsibility. And if you think about that in your context, if you're earning a high income, if you are able to bless others with the money God has given you, this can be a great opportunity for you.
It doesn't have to always feel burdensome. So let's talk about stewardship in the context of examination, because I think stewardship and generosity can sometimes get mixed up. I look at stewardship more as an internal examination, saying, hey, God, what do you want me to do with this money? And really discerning that, and it's not a one and done process. It's continually going back to him.
blessed with a large bonus trying to figure out, how much of that is going towards charitable causes? How much is going towards savings goals and how much is going towards spending? And with generosity, that's more of an outward extension of that internal examination that was already done. So I always like to start with stewardship as the kind of interior mindset. And then we'll talk about generosity in a moment.
Deb Meyer (09:53.88)
But within stewardship, you know, there's a traditional investing where you're hoping that the money will multiply, right? If you think about a stock investment, you're putting money into the stock market with the hope that not only you're going to get that original investment back, but you're also going to earn money on that investment and hopefully sell it for higher than what you paid for it.
Deb Meyer (10:17.952)
In that case, the money is multiplying and that's a very good thing, right? When we think about the parable of the talents, it really gets to the heart of investing. And I'm just going to do a little refresher for those of you that don't remember the parable of the talents. Well, there was a master who had three servants. The first servant was given five talents. The second servant was given two talents and the third servant was given one talent.
The master gave very clear instructions and said, “Hey, I want you to profit from this. I want you to use your talents in a wise God-honoring way.” Well, when the servants came back, the first and second servants had both increased their talents. The first one that was given five came back with 10. He doubled the second one that was given to, he also doubled came back with four.
Unfortunately, the last one who was given one talent, he decided to bury it in the ground. It wasn't, in his mind, it was the safe thing to do, right? He was fearful of what might happen to it. So he buried it. And if you think about that in your context, are there times where you're fearful of using the talents God's given you?
Are you fearful when it comes to investing that you just put it in cash or some low-earning investment because you're too afraid of what might happen? God calls us to increase the investments we have and really use those talents wisely.
Deb Meyer (12:08.3)
The other thing I want to touch on in stewardship is investing in people. Investing in people like my family. Here's a prime example. When we're looking at our annual budget for the year, we're putting a lot of emphasis on creating family experiences while our kids are still young and here at home. So we spend more than the average family on going out to, St. Louis City soccer game, for example, we spent a very large amount of money on that experience shortly after we moved to St. Louis. And for us, that was a good decision because we had already allocated it in our budget. And we also thought this is going to be really special family time that our kids can look back fondly years later and remember how much we wanted to create a good environment for them.
We also spend a decent amount on travel and we were able to take a really cool vacation, just a few weeks ago to Arizona and Utah. We got to see some amazing sites, Grand Canyon, North Rim and, Zion National park, Bryce Canyon. It was just amazing. It was fantastic. It did not come cheaply, but it was one of those experiences we really wanted to invest in with our kids again, while all three are still at home.
Our oldest is 15 and he'll be heading off either to college or some other kind of full-time job in a couple of years. So again, when you're thinking about stewardship, it doesn't have to necessarily be money going into a bank account or an investment account. It could be investing in your family members.
Okay. The another way to look at combating emotional attachment would be generosity. And I like to think generosity is the antidote to greed. If you're giving something away, you can't be hoarding it at the same time. Very true. Right? So a couple of years ago, I was listening to this podcast and they had a Jewish rabbi, which I thought was kind of interesting. I don't know all that much about the Jewish faith. mean, I know.
Deb Meyer (14:27.522)
where they kind of cut off in the Bible and things like that. But, it was just an interesting perspective that I wanted to hear. And he was talking about charitable giving, not just in the context of the traditional sense, like tax write-offs for, for our tax return. But he even said when he comes across someone on the street asking for money, he'll give it to them. And I had to stop and really think about that because at the time I was very by the book.
I got to, I got to have every dollar accounted for and that's what's going on. My tax return is a potential schedule a deduction, right? But listening to him talk about the joy he got when he gave someone money on the street and just knowing, okay, he's not going to give the percentage wise. Maybe he's not going to tie the full 10 % to his Jewish synagogue, but he's going to reserve 1 % for some of these off-the-cuff interactions, it really made me rethink how generosity can work.
So I adopted the same practice shortly after hearing that podcast episode. And again, this was something I listened to several years ago and I can say it has been so gratifying when I approach someone, I'm in my car and someone's holding a sign saying, anything you can do to help.
I'm reaching into that wallet and if there's $2 in there, I'm giving the $2. If there's 20, I'm giving the 20. It just happens to be whatever cash. don't carry that much cash, anyway, the gratification I get of seeing their smile and then oftentimes they'll say, God bless. It's just such a rewarding experience. And I love the...
Words whatsoever you do for the least of my people that you do for me. Now, some people would look at that and say, what if that homeless person that you're giving money to is spending it in a unwise way, right? What if they're spending it on drugs or alcohol or whatever, but honestly, it's not my responsibility at that point. it's between them and God and I'm not here to judge. I'm just here to help serve.
Deb Meyer (16:50.614)
Now, if you are looking for more specific guidelines on charitable giving, you know, that would be reflected on your tax return if you're above that standard deduction, there are ways of, you know, having some advanced charitable giving techniques that we could discuss if we were in a one-on-one relationship. So gifting appreciated assets is one example. If you have a brokerage account with a...
stock that's gone up in value and the fair market value is more than the basis. You could be, you know, with a sizable enough charitable contribution, you could be giving it directly to that charity and you're forgoing any of the capital gains tax. There's also qualified charitable distributions for those who have required minimum distributions on their IRA accounts. And there's even donor advice fund for really big charitable giving goals.
So I'm not gonna go into a lot of detail on each of those, but those are a couple of the different vehicles for charitable giving that we could discuss if we were in a one-on-one relationship. And then the last point is seeking wise counsel because you don't really have to navigate these decisions alone. I mentioned at the beginning of the episode, there's Compass Catholic. They're great from a resource standpoint with things around cashflow budgeting, debt payoff.
They even offer money coaching services and if they're not in a parish that administers the program you can take their courses online or buy some of their resources online. I think the money coaching requirement now you have to be through at least one of their courses before you use the money coaching services but they're also very affordable money coaching services.
If you're looking for something more advanced, like let's say you have cash flow under control, you're earning more than you're spending and you need some guidance around legally lowering taxes or creating a values-aligned investment plan, charitable giving strategies, those are the kinds of discussions you can have with a financial planner like myself. Feel free to contact us at worthynest.com/contact-us.
Deb Meyer (19:08.37)
I will put that in the show notes as well, but I'd be happy to chat further with you and your family. Or if you're interested in looking at other advisors that have the same kind of stewardship mentality, focus on generosity, there is the Catholic Financial Planners Network. You can go to catholicfinancialplanners.com. That's just like it sounds, catholicfinancialplanners.com. And I'll link to that in the show notes as well.
Lastly, God is always here 24-7 to help you discern any of these decisions. And it's perfectly acceptable to be emotionally attached to Him.