"A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing." – Ecclesiastes 3:4-5

As Christian parents, we know that life moves in seasons. Sometimes we're in a season of joy, other times in a season of sorrow. Ecclesiastes reminds us that there's a time for everything—a time to grieve and a time to celebrate, a time to hold on and a time to let go. But how do we discern the appropriate response to each season, especially when it comes to emotional attachment?

Emotional attachment can impact two key areas of our lives: relationships with people and material possessions. Both types of attachments can shape how we spend time and manage resources. As parents who strive to live out our faith, how do we navigate these attachments in a way that aligns with God’s calling for us? Let me guide you in finding the right balance between emotional attachment and stewardship, wisdom, and generosity.

Emotional Attachment to People: Loving Deeply, Mourning Fully

Mother Teresa serves as a powerful example of healthy emotional attachment. Her deep love and compassion for society's most neglected individuals, the "poorest of the poor," was an extension of her relationship with Christ. She didn't just see people in need; she saw Christ in them. Every connection she made was an emotional investment, grounded in her spiritual conviction that every person is made in the image of God. She didn’t shy away from offering love and dignity to the overlooked.

We may not all be called to missionary work like Mother Teresa, but as Christian parents, we are still called to love deeply. In fact, one of the great blessings and challenges of parenthood is developing deep emotional attachments to our children, friends, and even our communities. When we love deeply, we also grieve deeply when we lose someone. This is a natural, God-given response to loss.

I'm currently walking through grief after losing my mother in December 2022. The pain of losing someone we are emotionally attached to can feel overwhelming. Mourning is a necessary and healthy process. The stronger the emotional bond, the more we will feel the pain of separation, and that’s okay. Jesus wept over the death of Lazarus, showing us that grieving is not a sign of weakness but an expression of love.

But grief doesn’t end with mourning. After the season of mourning, God calls us to get back up and dance—to celebrate life again. This isn’t about forgetting those we’ve lost, but about embracing the life God still has for us. As parents, we need to be present for our children, to teach them how to navigate grief, and to show them that life is still rich and full of opportunities for joy.

Emotional Attachment to Things: The Trap of Materialism

While emotional attachment to people can be God-honoring, becoming too attached to material possessions is a dangerous trap.

Jesus cautions us in Matthew 6:19-21 to “store up treasures in heaven” rather than on earth. It’s too easy, especially with today’s societal pressures, to get caught up in accumulating things. Emotional attachment to material wealth can lead us away from God’s purpose for our lives and distract us from the relationships that truly matter.

A few years ago, I worked with a Catholic couple who, despite earning a substantial six-figure income, were living paycheck-to-paycheck. The issue wasn’t income-related; it was spending. They lived in an expensive home and spent lavishly on discretionary items like clothes, entertainment, and luxury goods. They couldn’t let go of their attachment to these material things, even when it became clear they were spending far beyond their means.

Despite knowing they needed to downsize and cut expenses, they couldn’t bring themselves to make the necessary changes. An emotional attachment to their home and lifestyle had become a roadblock to financial freedom. After six months of working together, I referred them to a financial coach for more intensive support. Their story is a prime example of how emotional attachment to material things can lead to financial strain, even when income is not the issue.

Steps to Break Free from Emotional Attachment to Things

If you’ve ever found yourself in a similar situation—where emotional attachment to things is clouding your judgment—there are three practical steps to break free.

I. Be Generous

Generosity is the antidote to materialism. When you give, you loosen the grip of material items overtaking the desires of your heart. I once listened to a podcast episode where a Jewish rabbi shared his approach to giving. He explained that he gives money to anyone who asks for it, whether it’s a person on the street or a charitable organization. By giving away what you have, you stop hoarding it. In turn, you free yourself from its control.

In my life, I’ve adopted a similar practice. If I see someone in need, whether at a stoplight or outside a store, I give what I can. It's not about the amount but about the act of letting go. Jesus reminds us that when we give to the least of our brothers and sisters, we give to Him (Matthew 25:40). What if the person asking for help was Jesus?

II. Embracing a Stewardship Mentality

It’s easy to think that everything we have belongs to us, but Scripture reminds us that God owns it all. Psalm 24:1 says, “The earth is the Lord’s, and everything in it, the world, and all who live in it.” Every dollar earned and every possession owned is a gift from God. Christian parents are called to be faithful stewards of the resources entrusted to us.

This stewardship mentality means stepping back and asking God how He wants us to use our time, talent, and treasure. Do we give generously? Do we invest in ways that multiply our resources for future generations? Stewardship doesn’t just mean managing money; it also means investing in relationships and time with our children. It involves teaching them to live in a God-honoring manner.

For example, I’m currently working with a family who earns a similar income to the first couple mentioned above. Instead of being caught up in materialism, they live in a modest home and keep discretionary expenses within reasonable limits. They even considered moving to a more expensive home closer to their daughters’ private schools to reduce the commute time. However, after modeling how this would affect their long-term financial goals, they decided against it. Staying in their current home allows them to save aggressively for college expenses and early retirement.

III. Seek Wise Counsel

The Bible is full of wisdom about seeking counsel. Proverbs 11:14 reminds us, “Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors, there is safety.”

When making financial decisions, especially those rooted in emotional attachment, seeking wise counsel is crucial. This might mean working with a financial advisor who shares your values or discussing important decisions with trusted friends, family members, or church leaders.

Organizations like Faith FI and Compass Catholic offer excellent resources on cash flow, debt management, and budgeting from a faith-based perspective. Contact us for a free initial call if you’re ready to move beyond budgeting and focus on higher-level topics like investment strategy, tax optimization, and retirement planning.

If you’re struggling with emotional attachment to material things, reaching out for guidance is a wise and humble step in the right direction.

Conclusion: Trust God

Emotional attachment—whether to people or things—is a natural part of life, even for Christian parents. God designed us to love deeply, but He also calls us to trust Him with attachments. When we hold on too tightly to people or possessions, we risk putting them before God.

But when we open our hearts and hands, trusting that God will provide, we experience the freedom and peace that comes from living in His will.

So, the next time you feel the tug of emotional attachment, pause and ask, “Is this bringing me closer to God, or is it pulling me away?” Embrace generosity, live with a stewardship mindset, and seek wise counsel. In doing so, you will honor God with your resources, invest in what truly matters, and experience the richness of life He has planned for you.

Let’s remember, as Ecclesiastes teaches us, there is indeed a time to mourn and a time to dance. May we, as Christian parents, navigate both with grace, faith, and love, trusting God in every season of life.

At WorthyNest®, we guide Christian and Catholic parents through important financial decisions using a values-based approach. Contact us to explore a one-on-one relationship.