There was a time when being called a “dreamer” was a putdown. It meant your head was in the clouds, and you didn’t accept reality. Sometimes it was used to imply that you were not a hard worker or a good contributor to society.

In some circles, being a dreamer is still looked down upon. After all, there’s a lot to be said for maintaining the status quo. It’s comfortable. And familiar. It is a great place to be when things are going well in life.

Besides–let’s face it–a lot of people just don’t like change. If you don’t think your own observations are enough, there have been studies on our tendency to resist change. There’s even a technical term for it: status quo bias.

But what if things are NOT going so well?

When your car breaks down, you take it to a mechanic to fix it. You see a doctor and explain the symptoms when medical ailments arise. When your marriage is rocky, you might confide in a counselor or clergy member.

If one of these situations requires you to change something about how you operate in life, you may get defensive or overwhelmed.

Nonetheless, the part of you that realizes things can’t stay the same sees that you have to make a choice.

I do not know your particular struggle today. But I know you have one. What are you going to do to fix it? Is it even something you can fix?

Or do you need to find the courage to dream of something new?

The serenity prayer is beautiful because it helps us recognize that some things are outside of our control. 

“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”

But we still have the ability to make choices that can change the trajectory of our lives. With any problem, you have two options:

1. Stay within your comfort zone and hope that the issue will naturally resolve itself

   OR

2. Proactively work towards a solution and be willing to fail.

The first option appears easier because it requires minimal effort on your part.

If you value order, routine, and continuity, you probably choose Option #1 in most circumstances. You are the peacemaker who does not want to rock the boat. You are generally content and can “go with the flow.” 

People who gravitate towards Option #2 are typically perceived as challengers or risk takers. They see a wrong and want to make it right, even if it means falling flat on their face a couple of times. Most entrepreneurs and missionaries are part of this group. 

You may wonder, “Is it possible to change?” Before we unpack the five strategies to chase your dreams, let’s answer that question.

IS IT POSSIBLE TO CHANGE? YES!

Much of my childhood and young adult life was spent squarely in the Option #1 category. I played by the rules and safely stayed within the confines of my comfort zone. 

Then, after a life-changing event in my late twenties, my perspective shifted. I grew closer to God than ever before and consciously began looking for clues of His plans for my life. My personality profile shifted from being a play-it-safe introvert to an INFJ or “The Advocate.” 

Here’s a detailed description:

The INFJ personality type is very rare, making up less than one percent of the population, but they nonetheless leave their mark on the world.  As Diplomats (NF), they have an inborn sense of idealism and morality, but what sets them apart is the accompanying judging (J) trait – INFJs are not idle dreamers, but people capable of taking concrete steps to realize their goals and make a lasting positive impact. 

I was called in 2013 to quit my secure job in wealth management and be more present to my family. During my husband’s unemployment three years later, God invited me to start WorthyNest®, a fee-only financial planning and investment advisory firm for parents who want to build wealth in alignment with their values. Most recently, the Holy Spirit inspired me to publish a book.

Throughout each of these dramatic life changes, there were two common elements: faith and flexibility.  

Jesus opened the door of possibility, but He never clearly showed me an exact path. Faith in His plan continues to push me in entrepreneurship and daily life. Flexibility is the other crucial element because stepping outside your comfort zone often entails failure. 

I realized that I can’t grow if I never make a mistake and learn from it.

Once I placed all my trust in God, I truly became myself. As a result, I was able to go after dreams that I never would have previously thought possible.

The vast majority of people maintain the status quo. They avoid confrontation and struggle because they think it makes their already busy lives more difficult. A lot of people stay in one geographic area, associate with people just like them, eat the same foods, and may even work in a job they dislike because it pays the bills. 

If your family life looks great as you maintain the status quo, by all means keep doing it. But I’ve got to believe that very few of us actually have a picture-perfect life. There must be at least one aspect of your life that you want to dramatically improve – whether it is your marriage, relationship with kids, financial path, career, physical or emotional health, or all of it!

WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF YOU CHOSE COURAGE OVER CONTENTMENT TODAY? HOW WOULD YOU, YOUR FAMILY, AND THE WORLD BENEFIT?       

Maybe you have a dream in your heart that you’ve been thinking about forever. Maybe you’ve always wanted to start your own business. Or begin a ministry. Or live abroad. Or join a non-profit instead of working for a corporation. 

Whatever that dream is, take a minute to think about what is actually holding you back from chasing after it.

Is it fear of failure? Is it the effort required to make a change? Analysis paralysis?

STRATEGIES TO PURSUE YOUR DREAMS

Before taking a path less-traveled, I encourage you to implement the following five powerful strategies.

1. USE YOUR IMAGINATION AND SLEEP ON IT

Steven Johnson’s book Farsighted succinctly describes the art of decision-making:

“Over millions of years of evolution, our brains developed a predilection for running through imagined futures, anticipating the emotional reactions of people close to us, sketching out the potential consequences – all in the service of making better decisions in the present.”

So many people underestimate the potency of the human brain. Our brains have enabled us to create incredible works of art and technologies beyond comprehension, solve complex equations, and build amazing cities. Our species’ potential far outstrips that of any other because of these ridiculously powerful brains we’ve been given.

And assuming that you’re reading this post, that means you have one of these amazing human brains!

You can jumpstart the same processes as the brains of great innovators by asking questions such as…

“What would happen if I ____________ ?”“

How could I make it possible to do ____________ ?”“

What would I have to do to make _________ a reality?”

Whatever can inspire you to start imagining how the future could be different and how you could make it happen, use it.

You cannot predict the future with absolute certainty, but you can play out scenarios in your head and anticipate potential consequences of an action. Write things down, chart them, draw a picture. Just get it on paper.

And after one of these daydreaming and planning sessions?

Get a good night of sleep. I mean it. Get the kind of sleep where you have dreams.

Dreams help us consolidate memories, resolve conflicts, and regulate our moods. Daydreams can be beneficial as we simulate important decisions and see how they impact those around us.

Who knows? Maybe your subconscious has picked up on something that you didn’t. Some of my best ideas come to me when I’m least expecting it.

2. EXPLORE MORE THAN TWO ALTERNATIVES

When presented with only two options, you might feel a little… trapped.

Let’s say you’re struggling at your job because you’ve been given more responsibilities without a raise. How does it make you feel to see only these two choices?

1. Stay because you’ve got bills to pay. You’ll grind it out and hope your boss notices your hard work.

2. Find a new job. Spend hours after work tweaking your resume and applying at other companies. 

My guess is you’re going to feel overwhelmed, anxious, and desperate. Those are not the kinds of emotions that spark creative solutions. 

Deciding between two possibilities is limiting. This is especially true if you are married, and you and your spouse must jointly decide. He wants one thing, you want another. You both think you are right.

Instead of taking an either/or approach, consider a third way. 

Maybe instead of either grinding away to pay the bills or finding a new job, you get up the courage to ask for a raise.

Maybe rather than insisting your way is right and your spouse’s is wrong, look at both options and see what the benefits are of each.

Then propose a third option that reaps the benefits of each initially proposed solution. By taking a look at just one more possible path forward, you can feel less overwhelmed about whatever problem you’re trying to solve.

3. FIND TRUTH TELLERS IN YOUR LIFE

Whether it is a spouse or best friend, there is someone in your life who is unafraid to speak the truth. You do not want to confide in a person who will unequivocally agree with you – even when he or she has reservations about your proposed solution. Explain the issue and be open to new perspectives.

When you have children, your decisions do not just impact you. They affect your entire family. If your child is old and mature enough to be included in the decision-making process, let him or her have a vote.

4. DON’T TRY TO DO IT ALL AT ONCE! START SMALL. 

Our daily and weekly habits have incredible power over bigger outcomes. In listening to episode 119 of the In This Together podcast, hosted by Dr. Josh & Christi Straub, guest Justin Whittle Earley openly shared his personal struggles with anxiety and his eventual transformation by implementing four simple changes to his routine.

Justin is a mergers and acquisitions attorney, author, and dad of four boys. He wrote a book, The Common Rule, that details exactly how he transformed and how you can, too.

His main message was that your happiness and your ability to pursue bigger goals depends on a foundation of small but beneficial habits. Your daily habits become your life, whether you’re conscious of it or not.

Pay attention to your everyday choices.

Do you get on your phone first thing in the morning? Stay up late binging Netflix? Scroll your Facebook feed during your lunch break?

For a week, just watch how you feel throughout the day as you engage in these seemingly harmless habits. Do you feel more anxious? Are you angrier, especially after reading a shocking news story or an insensitive Facebook comment? Are you having a hard time focusing?

After observing for a week, decide what kinds of daily actions you can take to replace the habits that are disturbing your peace and distracting you.

Could you spend the first hour of your morning without looking at a screen? Can you call a loved one during your lunch break, rather than scrolling? Would you benefit from journaling at night before bed instead of vegging in front of the TV?

Proof is in the pudding: you do not need to relocate or change careers to experience life-changing results. Your whole life can be different simply by becoming intentional about the habits you cultivate.

5. TRUST IN GOD’S TIMING

A risk-taker may try to accelerate decisions without always considering the ripple effects. Or he may already have made up his mind but needs to get another family member “on board” with the decision. God presents opportunities for conversion, but you may be in a season of life where it would be foolish to make a drastic lifestyle change.

Know that God’s timing is perfect. Let His plan unfold in front of you, step by step. You can’t know the future with certainty, but you can listen to the Shepherd’s voice and discern the next right step forward for you. We face hundreds of decisions daily. 

For the decisions that matter most, I leave you with two final questions: How do you want others to remember you when your time on earth is done? What kind of legacy do you want to leave?

Explore these and other questions in a one-on-one advisory relationship. Schedule your complimentary consult today.